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How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

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Without mutual respect, any relationship will be an unhappy one. People who respect each other: a) value each other’s opinions, b) listen to each other, c) disagree without screaming or insults. And remember, your parents have lived longer than you — don’t discount their experience and knowledge.

How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

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This is your key to freedom. The way to build trust is through honesty and responsibility. Honesty means you don’t lie or manipulate. Responsibility means you are reliable and can be counted on to use good judgment. When your parents trust you, it’s a lot easier for them to say «yes».

How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

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Your parents want to know what’s going on in your life. If you keep them in the dark, they won’t know when you need their help or whether they can trust you. Tell them what you’re up to, share your thoughts and feelings with them, and seek their advice for your problems (you don’t have to take it). Communication builds closeness.

How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

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If you’re always honest, a parent will be likely to believe what you say. If you sometimes hide the truth or add too much drama, parents will have a harder time believing what you tell them. If you tell stories, they’ll find it hard to trust you.

How to Have a Good Relationship with Your Parents

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Using a tone that’s friendly and polite makes it more likely that parents will listen and take what you say seriously. It also makes it more likely that they’ll talk to you in the same way. Of course, this is hard for any of us (adults included) when we’re feeling heated about something. If you think your emotions might get the better of you, do something to blow off steam before talking: go for a run. Cry. Hit your pillow. Do whatever it takes to sound calm when you need to. These guidelines work both ways. If, on occasions, your parents violate any of these guidelines, talk to them about it. Pick a time when you are both calm and feeling good toward each other (never when you’re angry). Then, explain to them what they did, how it makes you feel, and what you’d like them to do instead.

Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

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The first key skill of emotional intelligence is the ability to quickly calm yourself down when you’re feeling overwhelmed. When we’re under high levels of stress, rational thinking and decision making go out the window. Runaway stress overwhelms the mind and body, getting in the way of our ability to accurately «read» a situation, hear what someone else is saying, be aware of our own feelings and needs, and communicate clearly. This emotional intelligence skill helps you stay balanced, focused, and in control — no matter what challenges you face.

Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

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Many people are disconnected from their emotions — especially strong core emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy. But although we can distort, deny, or numb our feelings, we can’t eliminate them. They’re still there, whether we’re aware of them or not. Unfortunately, without emotional awareness, we are unable to fully understand our own motivations and needs, or to communicate effectively with others. Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others.

Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

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Being a good communicator requires more than just verbal skills. Sometimes, what we say is less important than how we say it or the other nonverbal signals we send out. In order to hold the attention of others and build connection and trust, we need to be aware of and in control of our nonverbal cues. We also need to be able to accurately read and respond to the nonverbal cues that other people send us. The wordless form of communication is emotionally driven. It asks the questions: «Are you listening?» and «Do you understand and care?» Answers to these questions are expressed in the way we listen, look, move, and react. Our nonverbal messages will produce a sense of interest, trust, excitement, and desire for connection — or they will generate fear, confusion, distrust, and disinterest.

Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

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Playful communication relieves fatigue and relaxes our bodies, which allows us to recharge and accomplish more. When we loosen up, we free ourselves of rigid ways of thinking and being, allowing us to get creative and see things in new ways.

Humour, laughter, and play are natural antidotes to life’s difficulties. They lighten our burdens and help us keep things in perspective. A good hearty laugh reduces stress, elevates mood, and brings our nervous system back into balance.

Five Key Skills for Raising Your Emotional Intelligence

(5) Conflicts and disagreements are inevitable in relationships. Two people can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However, that needn’t be a bad thing! Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.